Monday, 25 June 2012

Mad as a gumtree full of galahs

I really need a holiday so I am going to work in London for a couple of days. I told you I'd need a fix again soon but didn't realise I'd be this desperate. I know you're wondering how spending a glorious weekend in our hamlet in the countryside can be so taxing but half of Australia has descended on us.

This notoriously dangerous Australian
Funnel-web spider no longer holds the fear for
me that a house full of 7 children does.
My lovely sister in law is staying with us this week with her equally lovely children so we have 7 kids in the house. Heaven. And with me not being blessed with the most maternal of instincts even on a really good day.

So the menagerie now consists of twins of 2 (mine), The Monkey (5), Aussie Son 1 (6), identical twin girls (10) and Aussie Son 2 (12). Two sets of twins under one roof, two feral boys and a pre-pubescent male. Yesterday, to complete the family, my other lovely sister-in-law also came to visit with two of her children (12 and 19 months). But it was great. Though we were driven to open a bottle of wine in the early afternoon.

I take my hat off to people who foster lots of children because apparently some households can have quite a few kids at the same time. It took about 2 hours to make sandwiches for lunch and we had to do it in two sittings. We used more than a loaf of bread, a whole pack of cheese, two packs of ham and two thirds of the enormous chocolate cake I'd made the day before. Getting them all to bed had to be carefully staggered and we completely abandoned bathtime or Britain would have been back in drought. Less than 24 hours in we have done our first clothes wash, an emergency shop at Waitrose and the carp in the pond are sharing their water with a foam egg and a baseball bat.

But I'm loving it and so is The Monkey. He has permanent playmates and is being taught how to arm-fart and call everyone cobber so he's a happy boy. I have another sheila in the house who is exactly my age, has also had twins and can also roll her eyes at The Boy (afterall she has known him for 31 years longer than me). We have already decided that I shall make a list of all the things I need back-up on this week and she will help me wear him down. I think he may be working long hours this week. Or playing squash every single night.
All normal 5 year old boys
 need to know how to do this, cobber

So, off to London this arvo to do something I really hate which is talking to a group of people but the house is so full and funny that I haven't had time to worry about it. I get a night in a hotel, don't need to worry about jet-lagged children getting up at 5am and can eat my breakfast tomorrow without having to elbow someone for room (hopefully). But in a funny way I'll miss them all and their Aussieness. Payback time tomorrow though - when I get back I have got all 7 of them to myself while The Boy and his sister go out for the evening. I might just let them all stay up until 11 or suggest they camp in the garden.


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